The TechniColored Awards

HONOREE: Lil’ Penny

The Spotlight — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 03:15:01 +0000

:: :: ::

Commercial: Nike Air Pennys

Actor/Voice: Chris Rock

We’ve All Said It Before: ”That was Tyra Banks, fool!!!”

——————————-

Continuing with the basketball theme this week and with the LeBron and Kobe puppets making their debut, we thought it’d only be appropriate to pay homage to the originator. Granted the Air Penny series of kicks never had quite the hype surrounding Jordans, but we still have to highlight the brilliance applied by the Nike marketing team in having the foresight to apply Chris Rock voiceovers to create a legendary isht talkin’ calf-high sidekick and allowing Spike to direct the effort.

In most instances, we’d have to say using a puppet to drive sneaker sales is certifiably terrible, but Lil’ Penny happened to be right on time as an evolution of trendsetting characters and not a cheap knockoff of Mars.

The TC Awards Committee often finds blatant evidence of recycling going on amongst characters. And that’s definitely the case with Lil’ Penny and the mysterious appearance of Miles Thirst as LeBron’s sidekick. Not to hate on LeBron, but sprite could’ve definitely done the homey a few steps better on the sidekick front…the shades and that fro? combined with a psuedo mc gusto voiceover and various assortment of dookie ropes? Just killed the whole vibe before it got started. Sometimes the original should just be left alone.

At least Nike tried to redeem King James with the talcum powder loving muppet bearing his likeness. Outside of being everywhere and politicking with more celebs than most of us will meet in our lifetimes, Lil Penny’s success and lasting impression has to be attributed to the genius and foolishness of Chris Rock. Hilarious in his own right, the fact that he co-signed on this project with reckless commentary at all times has kept this character in rotation and the clones bitin’.

The originator shinin’ in all his glory:

HONOREE: Leroy Smith

The Spotlight — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 06:56:15 +0000

:: :: ::
Motivational Campaign: www.GetYourBasketballOn.com

Actor: Charles Q. Murphy

We’ve All Said It Before: “Motivize! Pulverize! and Realiiize!”

——————————

As you may very well know by now, the TC Awards committee has always been an advocate of the classic low brow humor presented by Eddie’s older brother. With all the great post-season basketball we witnessed this year, it’d only be appropriate for us to shine the spotlight on another true basketball legend. If you mixed Billie Blanks and a sprinkle of DragonFly Jones on the court this is exactly what you’d get, “not Ku-buh-lai Kahn, not the son of Genghis Kahn” but…none other than the Great Leroy Smith. In our research, many random questions and comments come into play and with the amount of pure foolishness presented by Leroy, there is plenty of comedic fodder to choose from.

Let’s begin by examining this fool in all his splendor:

First off, is there anything this clown can’t do? Seriously though. Not only did he motivate MJ, he also has his own iTunes app, cookbook (Get Your Cooking On!), personal set of motivization drills, records/singles (multi-instrumentalist), wristbands, video game, flunkie (Manny) and movie in the works. Not to mention he also appears to be a kung fu master of sorts. haa. I say gotdamn.

Beyond his obvious nature as a motivizer and jack of all trades his personal style has a flair all it’s own. His do is 2 parts Bozo remixed with some old school George Jefferson for added points. Leroy also makes it a point to don a basketball outfit for every possible day and special occasion…minus the fresh J’s. Guess MJ didn’t take too kindly to the fact that he got beat out for that varsity spot after all.

There’s so much content on here, we couldn’t even begin to post it all, but per usual, we got the hookup on the man, the myth, and the legend. Peep game.

Our favorite Technicolored Gems [shazam!]:

Jam. Oh Jaaaam…Can’t forget Leroy’s finest work in the booth:

http://rapidshare.com/files/247628300/My_Gift_to_the_Game.mp3.zip

http://rapidshare.com/files/247627972/My_Gift_to_the_Game-8bitMix.mp3.zip

Honorable Mention: Patrick (Ch)Ewing

The Spotlight — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 12:51:34 +0000

Commercial: Get Dunked on by Patrick Chewing

Actor: Patrick Ewing

We’ve All Said It Before: ” Aaaaargghhh!!!”

——————————

We like the fact that Snickers put Patrick Chewing back in the mix, but I’m sure as we all watch this commercial a few questions come to mind:

- Why does that white man open that Snickers like that? Is that a style that I missed when I was growing up?

- Why is his lumberjacket shirt so ugly and rigid?

- Where are they? Projects? Back of warehouse?

- Why the hell does Patrick still have a box? and why couldn’t he get a fade? it looks like the swept up the hair balls off the barbershop floor and dropped it on his head…unprofessional

- “What’s up Ryan?”… does he know this dude and was just waiting for him to come back to the playground

- The tight ass jersey was very appropriate for the commercial but where do you get that..KMart? The unofficial Ewing jersey is real.

- Did he walk?

- Was he wearing Patrick Ewing Sneakers?

- “Aaaaaaarghhhhhhhh!” Was that necessary? ..YES!

- Why did the backboard explode? Did he eat a Snickers before Ryan came by? who knows but I’m satisfied.

Overall this an obscure but successful 17 seconds. The lesson here is don’t bring a Snickers to the court… but if you do, bring a comb with that Snickers.

Technicolored gem:

“Oops…”

Honorable Mention: Miss Cleo

The Spotlight — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 03:41:43 +0000

Commercial: Ms. Cleo Mind & Spirit

Actress: Youree Dell Harris

We’ve All Said It Before: ” Call me NOW!!!”

——————————

“Call me now for a free readin’ !!”

Let’s go ahead and start by saying this fake ass Jamaican psychic supposedly made over $13 million for her psychic ‘abilities’ in the early 2000’s. She definitely had the crown for the Psychic Network surpassing Deion Warwick’s punk ass. With that kinda loot, you can’t really blame anyone eventhough she took it a lil too far.

Who in their right mind would be in an infomercial as a psychic? as a Jamaican? with the worst accent? The accent is actually how she changed the game…all entertainment. “What ya waitin fee?” haaaa. She was really wild and inappropriate.

For having such audacity this broad has to get some love. She was and still is the official infomercial psychic.

For some fun, here is the soundboard and the phone prank calls here

Technicolored Gems:

“About tree months it looks like to I…”

Cool Informercial Hell Article

HONOREE: Coming to America Barber Shop Crew

The Spotlight — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 08:03:35 +0000

Film: Coming to America, 1988

Director: John Landis

Actors: Eddie Murphy , Arsenio Hall

We’ve All Said It Before: “Fuck You…Fuck you.. and Fuck you! Who’s Next?”

———-

We won’t talk to much about this one. These characters are a true testament to the genius and skill of the Coming to America cast. Enjoy to all the C2A fans out there.

Without further ado: